Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
