ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize