i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize