Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
