She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
