He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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