school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
