scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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