I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
