The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
