Barsexuality is the new black.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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