New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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