I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
