Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
