and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
