doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
