Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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