i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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