We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
