Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
