I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
