another moral hangover. fuck.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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