Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
