It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Your penis caused this!
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