the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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