after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My life is pants optional.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
