can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
did i just pee glitter
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
