no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
