Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize