Your tits are I can't wait for
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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