i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
