This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just googled if crying burns calories
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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