I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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