WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
