you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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