If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
