I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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