he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
