i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
