I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
