Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This toilet bowl is my home.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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