I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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