in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
being pregnant is like rehab
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I wear drunk well.
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