Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize