At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
