I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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