so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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