I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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