im having a threesome with these popsicles
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
