I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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