the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
