What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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