grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
