I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
