He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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