Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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