I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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