you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
