im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
