I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
