Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
