Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
