dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
